k. shall update my blog yeah? think it's quite stagnant already....
bleah.
got back results.
maths was okay la. not bad.
the rest like shit.
fail.
bleah................................................................................
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
hais.....recently feel quite listless.
life's full of ups and downs.....
lol kk......sound so emo yeah?? LOL.
nothing much to blog about lor. life's not v.interesting lately. in fact it's v.boring la....
found some jokes online.....so shall share them here.
Lawyer Joke
Generous lawyer
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."
The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?
Blonde Joke
Blonde paint job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Gender Joke
ABC's of ex girlfriends
A
is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a shit about you.
B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!
C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.
D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?
E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice place because you were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for the next two weeks and she wonders why you were unable to call her that week and go see movies.
F
is for Friends. That is what she just wants to be. As if you can even stand to look at her.
G
is for Gun. And yes there is a waiting period.
H
is for Horny. Remember when she looked nice and even had a personality? Well, you figure it out.
I
stands for I still hate her. Odds are I always will, unless she calls me and offers me favors.
J
stands for Jim. This is her new boyfriend. Doesn't Jim have a nice car ? Doesn't Jim have a good job? Why does Jim want to date her? I think Jim could do much better. I hate Jim. Jim is my mortal enemy.
K
stands for Kill.
L
is for Love. It's a great euphoric feeling that exists between two people and is shared upon by both parties.
L
is also for Lunatic. Lunatics are crazy. Lunatics are the last people that actually believe in love.
M
stands for Mephistophiles. That is who she worked for.
N
stands for Necropheliac. She didn't move very much, did she?
O
is for On top. When on top she has another O word.
P
is for Pill. She said she was on it. She lied. She is now sueing you for a few hundred bucks a month.
Q
is for Quitter. She couldn't last.
R
is for Rich little Bitch. She bought my love but I paid for it.
S
stands for Suffer. That's what she made me do.
T
is for torture. Torture is what she did. She tortured you with the truth. She also tortured you with lies.
U
is for Understatement. Saying you hate that bitch is an understatement.
V
is for Voluptuous. That is the primamry reason you were dating her in the first place.
W
stands for Whine. She was a pro at this.
X
is for Xylophone. Because X is always for xylophone.
Y
stands for You suck! Remember when she yelled that at you.
Z
stands for ZIPPER. This is what you got your hair stuck in while trying to get dressed too quickly while she yelled "QUICK! They're home!"
.
stands for period. Which is a couple of weeks late, because she lied to you about taking what P stands for. It also means you won't get any for a week.
right! gtg! amigos!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
EMO week , ahead?
life sucks when you don't get good results. period.
as a student that translates to getting good grades.
SA results are coming back.
shall update again when i get back all papers.
think i gonna get emo real soon.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
as a student that translates to getting good grades.
SA results are coming back.
shall update again when i get back all papers.
think i gonna get emo real soon.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Owen to Man Utd.
wah....dunno why my blog can't upload photos anymore.....zzz.
anyways....
New Manchester United striker Michael Owen insists he is fighting fit and his injury-plagued past should not be a concern to fans of his new club. The 29-year-old has signed a two-year deal with the champions.
sweet lahhs....=].
hm...why dint benetiz ( correct spelling or not, LOL ) sign up him lei...? i wonder....
anyways....
New Manchester United striker Michael Owen insists he is fighting fit and his injury-plagued past should not be a concern to fans of his new club. The 29-year-old has signed a two-year deal with the champions.
sweet lahhs....=].
hm...why dint benetiz ( correct spelling or not, LOL ) sign up him lei...? i wonder....
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
HOLY @#$%!
OMFGGGGG.
was told this by a friend of mine.....THAT MEGAN FOX IS ACTUALLY A GUY!!
WTFFFFFFFFFF RIGHT?!?!?!?
got this from the net......
here's the link.
http://weeklyworldnews.com/celebs/4783/megan-fox-is-a-man/
can't load the photo unfortunately.
LOS ANGELES, CA – The internet has been abuzz since this Sunday’s Golden Globes ceremony, where Megan Fox jokingly remarked that she looked like a man.
When interviewed on the red carpet, she said “I look like Alan Alda in drag. I’m a tranny. I’m a man.”
At the time, reporters passed it off as a jovial attempt to cover for her nerves.
However, today she has cleared the air and officially reported: she’s really a man.
Megan Fox was born Mitchell Reed Fox in Rockwood, Tennessee. From an early age, Mitchell showed an interest in both performing and women’s clothing. When having a preacher lay hands on him did not ‘cure’ him of these interests, his parents simply put him on the pageant circuit.
By the age of 13, Mitchell had already started a career as a female child performer called ‘Megan Fox’. Making her debut on an Olsen Twins straight-to-video release, the twins have kept his secret all this time.
As a sweet 16 present, Fox’s parents offered him sexual reassignment surgery, which, given their child’s career, they’d hoped to write off as a business expense. Unfortunately laws prohibit such surgery to be done to minors.
Since then Megan has been working non-stop, and been included on many Hottest Women lists in publications around the world.
Megan, as she goes by now exclusively, also noted this Sunday how much she wants Salma Hayek’s figure. She has even scheduled surgery later this month to get it. After the two met in New York this week, Hayek offered to have a cast made of her bust so doctors can match them exactly on Megan Fox’s chest.
The internet is already speculating whether this news will be worked into the plot of the upcoming Transformers sequel.
omfg....apparently looks are so deceiving....
when i first saw this article, i was like " 我的天啊. 她既然是男的????!!!! "
to think she's so hot. T.T.
but she's undeniably the hottest "she-male" out in the world...hahas. lols.
was told this by a friend of mine.....THAT MEGAN FOX IS ACTUALLY A GUY!!
WTFFFFFFFFFF RIGHT?!?!?!?
got this from the net......
here's the link.
http://weeklyworldnews.com/celebs/4783/megan-fox-is-a-man/
can't load the photo unfortunately.
LOS ANGELES, CA – The internet has been abuzz since this Sunday’s Golden Globes ceremony, where Megan Fox jokingly remarked that she looked like a man.
When interviewed on the red carpet, she said “I look like Alan Alda in drag. I’m a tranny. I’m a man.”
At the time, reporters passed it off as a jovial attempt to cover for her nerves.
However, today she has cleared the air and officially reported: she’s really a man.
Megan Fox was born Mitchell Reed Fox in Rockwood, Tennessee. From an early age, Mitchell showed an interest in both performing and women’s clothing. When having a preacher lay hands on him did not ‘cure’ him of these interests, his parents simply put him on the pageant circuit.
By the age of 13, Mitchell had already started a career as a female child performer called ‘Megan Fox’. Making her debut on an Olsen Twins straight-to-video release, the twins have kept his secret all this time.
As a sweet 16 present, Fox’s parents offered him sexual reassignment surgery, which, given their child’s career, they’d hoped to write off as a business expense. Unfortunately laws prohibit such surgery to be done to minors.
Since then Megan has been working non-stop, and been included on many Hottest Women lists in publications around the world.
Megan, as she goes by now exclusively, also noted this Sunday how much she wants Salma Hayek’s figure. She has even scheduled surgery later this month to get it. After the two met in New York this week, Hayek offered to have a cast made of her bust so doctors can match them exactly on Megan Fox’s chest.
The internet is already speculating whether this news will be worked into the plot of the upcoming Transformers sequel.
omfg....apparently looks are so deceiving....
when i first saw this article, i was like " 我的天啊. 她既然是男的????!!!! "
to think she's so hot. T.T.
but she's undeniably the hottest "she-male" out in the world...hahas. lols.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Jokes. =].
Poor guy
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
Relationship Joke
0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
The Big Flood
It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house.
As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.
The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. "Climb in!" shouted a man in the boat. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.
The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.
The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, the poor man drowned.
Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God. "Heavenly Father," he said, "I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?" God gave him a puzzled look, and replied "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you expect?
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
Relationship Joke
0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
The Big Flood
It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house.
As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.
The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. "Climb in!" shouted a man in the boat. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.
The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.
The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, the poor man drowned.
Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God. "Heavenly Father," he said, "I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?" God gave him a puzzled look, and replied "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you expect?
Monday, June 15, 2009
went for tuition at Mavis for Maths.
first lesson there.
though expensive ar.....it's worth it la...
depend on school ar, u can kiss goodbye to your grades la.
tmr going amk library....hopefully can catch some si bis there. haha.
urghhh....so many things to do la...so little time.
TRANSFORMER COMING OUT ON 24TH JUNE!
ANYBODY INTERESTED??????
first lesson there.
though expensive ar.....it's worth it la...
depend on school ar, u can kiss goodbye to your grades la.
tmr going amk library....hopefully can catch some si bis there. haha.
urghhh....so many things to do la...so little time.
TRANSFORMER COMING OUT ON 24TH JUNE!
ANYBODY INTERESTED??????
Friday, June 12, 2009
today was a great day!
hahas.
know why?
cause i ate at the IMBA Crystal Jade la.
after history lesson, Me, Daniel , Albert Kwok Z , Jason , and Justin went to Tampines Mall' Crystal Jade to eat.
at first , i went off, cause cannot afford.
but later they called me back , saying they will pay for me first.
so yeah. thanks guys. really appreciate it. =].
anyways, only 1 word to describe the food there. - "IMBA"!
had a sliced beef congee and some dim sums.
okays, this sounds really boring. but the food really damm NICE LA!!!!!!
then after that, i went to study with Meng Liang at Woodlands library.
it's been a damm long time since i last saw him le.
haha.
Woodlands library is not a too bad place to study (it's very big...4 levels....though quite packed), and considering there are many "flowers" to look at, it's worth a trip down there to study if you ask me.
Latest news: Man Utd going to sell C.Ronaldo!
i feel it's a wise move la. Since he has hinted he does not want to stay at Man Utd before, it's best to sell him la. Team comes in before an individual. Somemore, with the amount of money , Fergie can sign on Tevez and buy other world-class players la. so, to me, it's definitely worth it la.
hahas.
know why?
cause i ate at the IMBA Crystal Jade la.
after history lesson, Me, Daniel , Albert Kwok Z , Jason , and Justin went to Tampines Mall' Crystal Jade to eat.
at first , i went off, cause cannot afford.
but later they called me back , saying they will pay for me first.
so yeah. thanks guys. really appreciate it. =].
anyways, only 1 word to describe the food there. - "IMBA"!
had a sliced beef congee and some dim sums.
okays, this sounds really boring. but the food really damm NICE LA!!!!!!
then after that, i went to study with Meng Liang at Woodlands library.
it's been a damm long time since i last saw him le.
haha.
Woodlands library is not a too bad place to study (it's very big...4 levels....though quite packed), and considering there are many "flowers" to look at, it's worth a trip down there to study if you ask me.
Latest news: Man Utd going to sell C.Ronaldo!
i feel it's a wise move la. Since he has hinted he does not want to stay at Man Utd before, it's best to sell him la. Team comes in before an individual. Somemore, with the amount of money , Fergie can sign on Tevez and buy other world-class players la. so, to me, it's definitely worth it la.
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